|By Steve Balogh in Green Living | October 16, 2008|
WASHINGTONâ€”In a nationally televised address to the American people Wednesday night, President Bush called upon every man, woman, and child to spiral uncontrollably downward into complete and utter panic.
Speaking from the Oval Office, Bush assured citizens that in these times of great uncertainty, the best and only course of action is to come under the throes of a sudden, overwhelming fear marked by hysterical or irrational behavior.
“My fellow Americans, the time for running aimlessly through streets while shrieking and waving our arms above our heads is now,” Bush said. “I understand that many of you are worried about your economic future and our situation overseas, and you have every right to be. Yet there is only one thing we as a nation can do in times like these: give up all hope and devolve into a lawless, post-apocalyptic, every-man-for-himself society.”
“For those of you who have remained resolute in your belief that things will turn around eventually, I urge you to close your eyes, take shallow rapid breaths, and begin freaking out immediately,” Bush added. “At this point, anyone who isn’t scared to death needs to wake the f*** upâ€”because we’re screwed here.”
I’m not at the arm-waving stage, but I’m pretty close. Â It’s amazing to me, as I go about my busy days at school, work, and play, that no one really seems to be talking about the disintegration of the economy. Â Sure there is some nervous chatter, but no real discussion about how we really might be screwed this time. Â I’ll chalk it up to the prior “resiliency” of the markets that most people alive (under 60) have experienced during their lives. Â ”It’ll bounce back, it always does” and so forth.
I don’t know about you, but I stocked the pantry. Â The wood delivery for the winter is next. Â Stay alert, and for G-d’s sake start talking about this.
Do you realize that we (through our leaders in Washington) just turned over $750 billion to essentially the whims of two men? Â 2 men! Â $750 billion dollars. Â Yikes.
I could go on, but dammit this is supposed to be an environmental blog. Â So in conclusion, please recycle and don’t drink bottled water.